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Keep in mind, I’ve only known him a week, so there are plenty of things I don’t know about him.
About half the people I’ve talked to about this say I should “cauterize the wound” now and just never talk to him again.
As for the guy, here’s my summary of your problem: 1. Being in a relationship, being alone, and dating are three completely different skill sets. What does it look like to enjoy someone, to talk to him and see him occasionally, but to not be his partner?
No matter who the guy was, no matter the fact that us not becoming a couple was, in each case, a good thing. I wasn’t devastated at losing the guy—I was devastated at losing a chance to, once again, be coupled. This guy, the one who didn’t call me, wasn’t the complete best. He was fine, we had fun together, but did I really want him to be my boyfriend? So why was I basing my self-esteem on a phone call from him?
I hated being single and I was desperate to find a man to save me from this state. It was a afternoon, we were texting, and said he would call me later if he had time to come over. And I was sitting in my apartment, feeling terrible, feeling unwanted, on the verge of tears. Why didn’t I just treat him the way I treated my casual friends—it’s great if I see you, but if we can’t meet up, that’s OK too?
I had totally lost my sex drive, so I really didn’t feel like I was missing anything.
I had gone so far as to think that dating wasn’t for me anymore because I’m not likely to find someone who meets my high standards (like having a job, being able to care for themselves, and speak in complete sentences) and I won’t settle for less.