Divorce and christian dating
And what about all that emotional baggage that comes with a divorce – once bitten, twice shy? But over time, I had to repent of my prejudices and revise my assumptions.
Most of the divorcés I met actually had less baggage and fewer hang-ups than some of the ‘forever singles’!
How long that takes will vary, depending on the person and their circumstances.
However, based on my own journey of recovery after the painful ending of a long engagement, I’d be wary of anything less than a couple of years.
You sure wouldn’t want someone treating your eventual wife that way. This is the question most asked by teenagers, but don’t dating adults want to know too? If you spend your dating time at your house on a cozy couch, that’s all kinds of temptation. If you’re in a relationship, talk about this with your date. If you fail, you admit you’re human and need God’s help.
Take the long view here, knowing that whomever you marry should enter the marriage feeling respected, protected, and loved — as demonstrated by Christ. So you get to that moment where your God-created, sexually charged body is going nuclear with desire, and you’re somehow supposed to shut that off like a flip-switch. You need strategies (or tactics — I get those two confused) to keep from getting into that my-brain-is-mush moment. Unfortunately, it’s often the wrong question, because what you’re really asking is how close to the land mines can you get without being in danger. Rather, ask what level of affection is honoring to God and respectful of your date. But if you’re sitting across from someone at a dinner table or walking hand-in-hand through a museum, it’s not likely you’re going to get busy there. Things like “If I start feeling extremely turned on, I need a break. Does that mean you already crossed the line and should just give up and go for it?
And if and when you marry, you will be glad you waited. I’m on a campaign for myself and other wives in 2016 to memorize more scripture, because this is one of the best ways to arm ourselves with truth. Is staying pure until marriage impossible these days? Actually, Jacob waited for Rachel for seven years (see Genesis 29). Even very Church oriented Christ centered Christians are having a hard time staying sexually pure.This is even an order of magnitude greater in my opinion for divorcees my age. It can feel like time-traveling back to high school (or junior high for some of you). Remind yourself that you want to be faithful to God’s design for sexual intimacy, that you want to show respect and care for the woman you are dating, and that waiting has true benefits.I knew it was unfair: many people’s marriages end against their will, and through no fault of their own.But I couldn’t shake the feeling that they’d already proved they had no staying power.